The first few months are always the hardest—that’s something to remember when jumping into a journey like this. It’s never easy, especially at the start. In my experience, it took the first 6 months as an AuPair to truly settle in and find my place in the new environment. Of course, that timeline varies for everyone—some may adjust more quickly, while others might take longer. For me, those first six months were the toughest. But once I crossed that threshold, things started falling into place. Here’s how it all changed.

The relationship with the parents

In my blog post about overcoming homesickness, I mention the importance of building a strong bond with the family. Of course, this depends on both sides, but for me, it was particularly challenging. In the first 6 months as an AuPair, I constantly worried about how the parents perceived me—whether I was good enough in their eyes. My biggest fear during those first months was that they might send me back home. But to my surprise, that fear never became to reality.

It wasn’t until I got sick—twice—that I truly realized how much this family cared about me. They stood by me through it all, and that’s when it finally clicked. With time, the big rock from my chest fell and I could finally breathe and start enjoying the experience without constant anxiety. Once I felt at ease, everything became smoother—especially my relationship with my host mom. Conversations went more naturally, and before I knew it, she became more than just a host; she became a friend.

The relationship with kids

As always, it depends on the child, but since the one I cared for was older, it took quite some time for us to reach a truly comfortable level. Yes, we played during the first half of the year and spent time together, but it didn’t feel easygoing. Looking back, I could tell that, in those early months, he wasn’t particularly attached to me—I was just someone to play with when he had nothing better to do.

But as time passed, things changed. In the second half of the year, I noticed that he started asking for me more often and genuinely wanting to play with me. The joy on his face was real, and that was such a heartwarming shift. I no longer needed reassurance to know he enjoyed my presence—his actions spoke for themselves.

It was a similar story with the youngest. In the beginning, she would cry whenever her parents left us alone and always chose them over me if we were in the same room. It took a solid six months for her to feel truly comfortable with just me. Of course, I could never replace her parents, but at some point, just I became good enough. That shift relieved so much stress for everyone. When the youngest child—the one still in diapers—finally felt at ease, everything got easier. There were fewer tears, more laughter, and a much lighter atmosphere overall.

The well-being in surroundings

In the first 6 months as an AuPair, I used to be scared of a stranger talking to me, because I didn’t understand what they were saying. I lived in Germany and Germans like good small talk (especially when you are with small kids). I tried to make less eye contact and avoid everything that would be sent out to someone that I wanted to talk to them. It wasn’t fun. I feared going to the store, pharmacy or other places where I would need to interact with other people. With time and a few months of the language course, the world around me got clearer. It all got easier when I finally could understand when someone talked to me on the playground or when the pharmacist knew exactly what I needed from the pharmacy.