From my experience of being an AuPair for a year, I can freely say there are a lot of things I did wrong and a lot of things I wish I had done differently when choosing the host family. I was so focused on choosing a great host family that I overlooked other key factors before moving in. Here is the complete list of the things that I underestimated and didn’t think were that big of a deal.

Choose the country wisely

Before selecting a host family, the first and most important step is choosing the right country for you. While moving far abroad might seem like an exciting dream, take a moment to think it through realistically.

Ask yourself:

• Can I handle being away from my family for a long time?
• Am I okay with a big time difference that makes staying in touch harder?
• How well do I cope with loneliness?
• Am I comfortable spending a lot of time alone?
• Am I truly independent?

Moving overseas or to another continent is a huge step, and it’s not for everyone. Don’t rush into it unless you’re certain you can handle the challenges that come with it. Be honest with yourself. My dream also was to go to America or Oceania, but I knew I was not ready for such a big step so I picked a country where the flight was 1,5 hours long and therefore I was able to visit my family 2 times during my AuPair stay.

Carefully think through how long you can handle it

Before committing to a host family, think carefully about how long you realistically want to stay. Can you truly handle a year abroad—living with strangers, caring for children who aren’t yours, and adapting to a completely new lifestyle? Maybe six months is enough. Maybe you’ll get everything you want out of the experience in just three.

When I decided to become an AuPair, I was certain: It’s a year or nothing. But by the six-month mark, I already felt fulfilled and ready to move on—except I had six more months to go.

The lesson? Don’t commit to a full year just because it sounds right. Be honest with yourself about what you can handle and how long you want to stay.

Don’t ignore the location where the host family lives

One of my biggest mistakes as an AuPair was not considering where my host family was located. On the AuPair website, you can choose where you want your host family to be living- a city, a small town, or the countryside. I knew I didn’t want to live in the countryside since I prefer big cities, so I made that my main criterion.

However, I completely overlooked something even more important—what kind of environment makes me truly happy. I feel my best when I’m near mountains or the ocean, yet I ignored this when choosing my host family. As a result, I ended up in a city almost identical to my hometown—a place where I had already felt unhappy.

The whole point of moving abroad was to experience something new, but by not considering my ideal surroundings, I unintentionally recreated my old reality.

Check the weather and other information

One major mistake I made was ignoring the impact of my environment. Weather, for example, plays a huge role in how I feel. When it’s too hot and sunny, I get headaches and feel drained. When it’s too cold and grey, I struggle with seasonal depression. But at the time, none of that seemed to matter—I didn’t even research the city I was moving to.

It wasn’t until I faced the reality of my new environment that I regretted being so careless. While a great host family is important, don’t ignore other factors that can affect your well-being. Research the city, climate, lifestyle, and anything else that matters to you before making a decision. Trust me, it’s worth it!

Pay attention to how old are the kid/s

One of the most important factors when selecting a host family is the age of the children. Their age will shape your daily routine, responsibilities, and overall experience as an Au Pair.

From my experience caring for both a toddler (1–2 years old) and an older child (8–9 years old), I’ve learned that each comes with unique challenges:

• Toddlers are in a phase of constant learning—walking, talking, eating, and understanding the world. They require full-time attention, hands-on care, and a lot of patience, as some days can feel overwhelming.
• Older kids are more independent, understand instructions, and don’t need constant supervision. However, their personalities are stronger, which means they won’t always be easy to handle.

Before choosing a family, imagine your ideal daily routine. Consider:

• Toddlers need you 24/7 since they can’t go out alone.
• Older kids will often be at school or with friends, so they require less of your time.

At the end of the day, the right choice depends on your personality, patience level, and what kind of experience you’re looking for. Take your time to think it through before committing to a family!

Take your time while choosing the host family

I highly recommend starting your search for a host family at least six months before you plan to begin your Au Pair experience. This gives you enough time to think things through. Under no circumstances should you agree to the first family that shows interest. Take your time—this is a big decision. Talk to multiple families, get to know them, and compare your options carefully. Don’t rush the process. This step is crucial to ensuring you choose the right fit for you.

There are plenty of wonderful families out there. Even if you worry about scaring a family away by taking too long to decide, the right family will respect your need for time. And if you do lose one family, another equally wonderful family will come along.

Prepare yourself for the video call with the host family

Many people call these video interviews but I hate that termology because it sounds so official and stressful while in reality, you are just all regular humans trying to make the decision that’s the best for each. Before moving in with the family you must do a video call to see if it’s a good fit. Having no call at all should be considered a red flag.

When the video call day and time comes be well prepared. Write down a bunch of questions that you want to know to get an insight into how the family dynamic works and what they expect from you. Don’t be scared of looking foolish for asking many questions. Ask anyway, even if you think it’s ridiculous. It’s better to be safer than sorry. Here are some inspiration of useful questions to ask:

• What would my daily life look like?
• What would be my main tasks?
• What are the kids’ personalities like?
• What languages do the kids speak?
• In what language would I need to speak with them?
• What do you like to do together as a family?
• How do you spend the weekends?
• What is the weather like where you live?
• Would I need to cook for the kids and the family?
• How far is the city centre? How easy it is to get there?
• Do you have any friends who also have AuPairs?
• What is your diet like? What do breakfast, lunch, and dinner look like?
• Why do you want/need an AuPair?